I have to admit, I’m in a bit of a funk today. At first, I didn’t understand why. I mean, there’s food in my dish, and Faith left her blankie on the floor for me to nap on. What’s not to love, right? It’s just that there’s been a lot of excitement around the place today. Started with an early call from Mister Bopp (a nice enough guy with a sweet bike, but he never feeds me. Loosen up, pal and take a cue from your wife. There are plenty of sausages to go around).

Anyway, from what I understand, Mrs. Bopp, who is seriously nice and way more generous at the table than her husband, is going to have a baby today. Apparently, it’s going to be all cute and soft. And probably an attention hog. Great.

I don’t mean to be self-centered here, but am I wrong to be a little concerned? I mean, this is a pretty small company, and the job description of cute, soft, attention-seeker is held by moi.

I dunno. Maybe the kid will be alright. I hear that babies are notoriously sloppy eaters, and they don’t stay cute forever, right?

I need to go chase something…